孤云独去闲10 Beginning in childhood, parents encourage or limit future romantic liaisons by selecting certain neighborhoods and schools. In early adolescence, pear norms influence the adolescent's decisions about acceptable romantic involvements ("You want to date who?!"). Even during the preteen years, romantic experiences are cultured in the sense that societal and group practices and expectations shape romantic experience. Although romance may cross cultural or ethnic borders, criticism and approval teach us what is acceptable romantic behavior and with whom. One might "lust" for someone, but these yearnings will not lead most of us to "fall in love" if there are strong cultural or group bans.
10从童年开始，父母们就通过选择某个街区和学校，或是鼓励或是限制孩子未来的情感关系。在青少年早期，同伴们的标准也会影响青少年决定哪些情感关系是可以接受的(“你想和谁约会?”)。甚至在13岁之前，情感经历就由社会和群体的活动和期望所决定和培养起来了。虽然爱情可以跨越文化和民族的界线，但批评和赞同教会了我们什么是可以接受的浪漫行为和与谁发生浪漫行为。一个人也许会对另一个人产生“欲望”，但是如果有强烈的文化或族群反对，我们中的大多数人即使有这样的渴望也不会因此而爱上某人的。 11 Regan and Berscheid (1999) differentiate between lust, desire, and romantic love. They describe lust as primarily physical rather than emotional, a condition that may
be conscious or unconscious. Desire, in contrast, is a psychological in which one
wants a relationship that one doesn't now have, or to engage in an activity in which
