英语小幽默 HUMOUR
业余工作
When my son was a hign-school sophomore, he got a part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket. He came home all smiles. \
\Since Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, \\钥匙还是接吻
A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, \me the keys.\The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn't heard him clearly, so he repeated. \me the keys.\The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks. 模仿
A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach.
\it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it.\
Shortly afterwards Dad came in from the office,complaining of a headache. \because it's empty,\in it.\
礼物该给谁?
A father of five children came home with a toy,summoned his children and asked which one of them should be given the present,\to Mother and does everything he or she is told?\
There was silence,and then a chorus of voices:\百万富翁
CEO:\Assistant:\CEO:\概不外借
Mark Twain once went to borrow a certain book from a neighbour in Tarry town. \I borrow a book from you?\the neighbour told him. \never to let any book go out of my library.\to borrow Twain's machine for cutting grass in the garden. \told him,\more than welcome to it. But I must ask you to use it here. You know that I make it a rule never to let it go out of my garden.\
我还不认识她
A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench, passionately kissing. \husband, \
四减四等于几?
One day, the teacher inquired Peter:\tongue-tired. The teacher got angry and said: \coins in your pocket, but there is a hole in your pocket and all of them leak out, now what is left in your pocket?\
最长的和最短的是什么?
A teacher asked asked one of his students:\shortest?\is the longest, while the last several minutes of an exam is the shortest.\
为什么这样晚来学校?
The teacher asked Tom: \lost one yuan.\teacher said. \I stood on the money until the person went away,\was Tom's reply.
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